Friday, August 29, 2014

Adopt a Terrorist

In another response to "The essence of the Middle East conflict for 5 minutes", my friend Nissan sent me this:

OH, IF WE COULD ONLY DO THIS!
 

 I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE IN THE CURRENT USA OR UK CHAIN-OF-COMMAND COMPOSING SUCH A BRILLIANT RESPONSE!!

Adopt a Terrorist.- Too Good to Miss
 
The Canadians know how to handle complaints. Here is an example. 
A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter. She received back the following reply:
 
National Defense Headquarters 
M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT 
101 Colonel By Drive 
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2  
Canada
 
Dear Concerned Citizen,
 
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
 
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.
 
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.
 
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.
 
Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country.
 
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.
 
You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
 
You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counselor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.
 
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially, 
Gordon O'Connor 
Minister of National Defense

1 comment:

  1. Nissan,

    This is a demagogic post, very typical to the arguments of the Right, which can't or won't make rational arguments.

    I'm pretty sure that the Canadian citizen didn't claim that the people in captivity were innocent, only that they deserved a fair treatment and trial - unlike the hypocritical treatment that they are getting outside of the US (e.g. Guantanamo), just because you can't treat human beings like that inside the US. Therefore, the suggestion which you support, to transfer them into the homes of the citizens who care for human rights, while it might just as well be that they ARE terrorist or criminals - is nothing but demagogy. I gave up the expectation from something more elaborate from speakers of the Right.


    ניסן ידידי
    מה ששלחת הוא דמגוגיה פשוטה. אני די בטוח שהאזרחית הקנדית לא התכוונה שהעצורים באפגניסטן הם בהכרח חפים מפשע, אלא רק שמגיע להם טיפול והליך משפטי הוגנים - וזאת בניגוד לטיפול הצבוע שמקבלים "לוחמים בלתי חוקיים" מחוץ לגבולות ארה'ב (למשל בגואנטנמו), בגלל שאי אפשר, תודה לאל וגם אתה צריך להודות לו, לתת להם טיפול כזה בתוך גבולות ארה'ב. לכן, ההצעה של הכותב, שאתה כנראה תומך בה, להעביר חשודים בפשעי טרור לתוך בתים של פעילי זכויות אדם - היא פשוט דמגוגיה. כבר נואשתי מלצפות לטיעונים רציניים יותר מפי דוברי הימין


    Cheers,
    Avner E.

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